Celebrity relocations

It only took coming up to two years…

The designer who in the mid nineties dressed approximately every single rapper and RnB artist -I hate the term artist when referring to RnB past the eighties; RnB is now populated by either a) little pieces of jail bait whores or b) men singing about how unfair it is that they’ve lost their ‘baby’ after being caught cheating on said ‘baby’, YET WOMEN LOVE THESE SONGS? IT’S BEYOND A JOKE!!!- had originally put the eight bedroom property on the market for $28m, but thanks to the financial squeeze, poor little Tom Tom only managed to get $20m.

Still, he only paid $18m for it, a $2m profit on property these days is very nice indeed.

Hilfiger recently moved to New York after living in North Greenwich for the proverbial donkeys yonks.

Shenae Grimes, star of rejigged, remade and still incredibly rubbish 90210 (missed the boat the first time around, CERTAINLY missed the boat this time) has been papped moving into her new home.

Shenae starred in Degrassi: The Next Generation (nope, me neither) which  is ‘often the most watched domestic drama series in Canada’ (thanks Wiki, the prophet of all bloggers).

(Speaking of Wiki, Shenae’s character in 90210 has a longer entry than the actress herself, never a good sign).

Often the most watched domestic drama series in Canada. It’s like running the second most popular techno night in Newcastle held on alternating Tuesdays; it’s not something to be incredibly proud of.

I almost think it’s best for me to end this particular blog before I make any puns based on her surname…

Katy Perry and Russell Brand have been spending a lot of time together, with the former breaking a TV engagement with Chris Moyles (although, who wouldn’t) to spend the evening with the almost obligatory titled love lothario (although this always confused me, how can someone be a love lothario, isn’t it a bit like saying ATM machine? Or ‘Racist Nick Griffin’?) Brand.

The comedy cock and the pretend penisphobe have been seen together so often rumours are beginning to surface that the two are contemplating moving in together.

The mind boggles at what the neighbours would hear.

The lady that tripled tissue sales to teenage boys

Pamela Anderson appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show last week and spoke of her issues waiting for her new home. She is living in a trailer at the moment while waiting to move into her new home. She’s also launched a fragrance which she herself says smells cheap, just like her.

It’s a good job she’s cheap, if rumours about her financial difficulties are anything to go by.

Still, worst comes to worst, she always has that agreement with Hugh Hefner and can move back into the Playboy mansion at any time.

Which her sons I’m sure will have NO problem with…

gratuitous pic of incredibly hot lady

Anyone wishing to believe the above headline is a childish, immature boy joke about the female form is perfectly entitled to.

And may just be along the right track..(some of you will still be sniggering)

Of course the Bush in question is Reggie Bush, partner of Kim. Reggie is apparently an American footballer, which means (bearing in mind the writer of this blog is English) he is an overpaid pansy boy who’s too scared to get hurt in a proper game (all that padding for what is essentially touch rugby? Do me a favour).

Of course, this does not mean he couldn’t batter me, but that’s another issue entirely.

At least he is famous for something. Kim is famous for getting knobbed on camera by the brother of Brandy and for being the daughter of OJ Simpson’s lawyer.

The one who wasn’t Johnny Cochran.

All digressions, according to TMZ, their homes are for sale and they are looking to move in together in the Hollywood hills.

Heheheheheh…Bush.

The headline was almost ‘Footballer Loses Meal Ticket’.

Yes, sad news for Darren Byfield in that he and Jamelia have filed for divorce and Jamelia has since moved out of the house they shared.

I say shared, I wonder how much of the mortgage was. Byfield’s career began at Aston Villa (all 10 games of it) and descended at nearly every opportunity.

He currently plays for Walsall.

Jamelia on the other hand, is back on the rise. An album is planned (rent a hit maestro Pharrell is rumoured to be working on it) and she is starring alongside ‘Mr Blonde’ Michael Madsen in an upcoming film.

Byfield plays at Stourbridge this weekend. And that really says it all.

According to Fox news (yes, that bastion of accurate and honest news reporting), Madonna could be on the move.

Neighbours have complained about loud music accompanied by dancing coming from her apartment, largely sounding like the muscular gap toothed cretin practicing for another religion baiting pseudo sex show fluffed with the most rudimentary of political commentary.

Madonna kisses mental case, world sighs in boredom.

A lawsuit has been filed against Madonna, which means she could be moving her one woman Benetton advert to pastures new anytime soon.

May I suggest she relocates to Malawi, that way she could actually fulfil some of the adoption criteria the country require before their children are taken away by well-meaning yet selfish 50 plus pop whores.